He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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