I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
lol hangovers are for mortals.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
