): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
pop tarts are not kleenex
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
