and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
