One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize