i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
