no, he came in my armpit
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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