Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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