No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
