Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
