i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
