come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
