Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
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i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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