So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
