she smelled like a LAN party
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
