I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize