please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
