things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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