i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Damn victory sex feels great
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
