Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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