Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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