Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
