Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
