So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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