we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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