I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize