The maid of honor just puked.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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