It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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