Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
