in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
