well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
