He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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