hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
home. puking in laundry basket.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
