I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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