he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
