Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
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I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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