I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I love you.
Bad choice
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