my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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