New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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