I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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