Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
