I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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