ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
