I can text with my tongue
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
