Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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