it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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