I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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