cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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