in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
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I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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