So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
