She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize