I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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