ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I looked at my own cervix.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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