Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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