HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
