I look better un-naked...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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